so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
