I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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