Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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