Nicole vs. Life
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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