Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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