I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize