well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
