He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
