What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
