There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
