I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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