I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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