she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
