I CAN MOONWALK!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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