just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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