my vag is so smooth its legendary
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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