Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
