Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
