eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
