Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
