I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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