I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wear drunk well.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
