Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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