Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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