Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
