Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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