So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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