yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
