Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.

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(925): View more from California

These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids

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(907): View more from Alaska

Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.

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(317): View more from Indiana

There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load

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(641): View more from Iowa

im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships

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(801): View more from Utah

But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.

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