did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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