Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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