Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.