if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out