so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
