well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
