He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize