Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
