I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
