Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i think im in europe. pls send help
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
