i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
