Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
