So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The Olympian is in my bed
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
