Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
