I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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