my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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