paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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