i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
