My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
