i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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