____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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