doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
