he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
