They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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