I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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