stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
