its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm gonna fight the coyote
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
