I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
