Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
